PREVIEW

WORDS BYLINE: Sarah Ingram

It’s difficult to pinpoint when Andy Kalli’s life hit rock bottom.

Possibly the moment when he walked his daughter down the aisle with the wedding guests in tears, crying out of pity because he was a crack addict.

Or the day he took his 10-year-old son on a drugs deal, using his own little boy as a decoy.

Olympic medalist Sir Bradley Wiggins recently admitted that he was addicted to cocaine, and like Sir Bradley, Andy’s children would go on to beg him to give up drugs.

Chatting to him now, you would never imagine that behind his mild-mannered smile is a dark background of guns, dealing and crack cocaine.

Andy spent more than two decades addicted to drugs in a devastating spiral that cost him many relationships and nearly his life.

A tough, poverty-stricken childhood marred by sexual abuse by a family friend contributed to that spiral.

Though he loved sports at school, he left at 16 with no qualifications. He trained as a chef and was married when he was just 18.

‘I had everything. My father-in-law was rich, so we had a house and no mortgage. I was good at making money and had my first restaurant at 19 and by the time I was 23 I had three children. Everything was beautiful, but I wasn't happy,’ Andy, now 64 and living in Milton Keynes, says.

Then it all went horribly wrong.

He threw everything up in the air and left his family behind to play semi-professional football in Cyprus.

He fell in with the wrong crowd and started handling stolen goods. He also started sleeping around.

Returning to London, he had his first line of cocaine aged 28.

Soon he was addicted and gambling to excess, losing £100,000 in one week on one occasion.

With his marriage over, he had nothing to live for and in 1990 tried to take his own life. He started dealing in drugs, guns ‘and getting involved with many dangerous situations.

Two years after taking up cocaine, he got hooked on smoking crack.

He smoked crack continuously for 24 years, making unsuccessful efforts to stop and spending an estimated £3million on drugs.

‘I put my kids in danger. On one occasion, I took my 10-year-old son on a deal, using him to act as a decoy in the car. I deeply regret that.’

For years Andy lived between the UK, Ireland, Cyprus and America, taking and dealing drugs and trying, without success, to kick the habit.

He eventually became a business consultant, where he excelled. When he went to crack houses to pick up his fix, dealers would think he was with the police because of his fine Italian suits.

‘The madness and the obsession of the drug pushes you to a point,’ he says.

‘I was married three times and had a daughter with another woman. I could never be happy. Every woman I met since my first wife wanted to save me. No woman could save me.’

On one occasion his children walked in on him smoking crack.

In the early 2000s, he made another attempt on his life.

‘I jumped in front of a car because I didn't want to live anymore. The next morning in hospital I woke up with a metal plate in my arm.’

He continued smoking crack. Even his daughter’s wedding didn’t stop him.

‘I was in Cyprus and my daughter Helen was getting married in the UK,’ he says.

‘I didn't want to go to the wedding because of my habit but at the last minute I got on a flight and I went to the wedding completely smashed.

‘Everyone was crying in the congregation at the church, but not out of joy, out of pity. Because she was my firstborn and she was being walked down the aisle by an addict.’

Then, in 2013, Andy received devastating news. Helen was diagnosed with a brain tumour.

‘I came to see her in hospital and as soon as I looked at her, I knew she was going to die. I was living in the States at the time, so I came back to help with her treatment.’

He would be at her side by day, helping with his grandson, but by night he would be out hunting for drugs.

‘The family knew I was using but I thought they didn't know. And it came to such a point where I'd even miss her appointments at the hospital. My biggest excuse was that I deserve to have my gear because “You try living when your daughter's dying”.’

Family members pleaded with him to stop with no success and Helen died in March 2014.

‘I just couldn't stop then. I went to hospital to see her and everyone wanted me to stick around, but I just got in a car, went to Birmingham, and smoked for the next six months, nearly ending my life. I wanted to die.’

Heavy with regret and shame, Andy walked into a hospital and threw himself into his recovery. It was tough, and he was depressed and angry, and after two years sober was feeling very sorry for himself.

‘I was in a one-room flat, on benefits, with no car, and I was still trying to fight for my recovery. I was alone and no-one trusted me.’

Then he received an email from his youngest, Maria, who he’d left when she was just five years old.

The email said: ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You need to start to recognise how f**ked up you are and how you made others feel. Instead of wallowing your self pity, go and do something about it and make it right. Do something that will prove it.

‘You’re acting like a child who's had his sweets taken away. You haven't achieved anything in life. Becoming clean isn't an achievement. It's normal life. We all have to ride it through the going gets tough. I don't need people like you around in my life. I will refer to you as “Andy” from now on. You are not my dad and you never have been. You're a user and opportunist. Grow up and be a man.’

Andy for the first time was floored. He took a beat to think, before realising she was right.

He continued to work on himself and his recovery and his relationships, and now he and Maria have become best friends.

When he showed her the email recently, she didn’t even remember writing it.

He is now speaking out about his experience as part of NCFE's Why Should I Care? campaign, which celebrates those working in education, early years, and social care and showcases their importance to everyday life.

Marking the 80th anniversary of CACHE qualifications in 2025, the education charity and specialist awarding organisation is using the campaign to push for further professionalisation and recognition of these essential sectors and the role they play in society.

Andy studied for a degree which he passed with first class honours and trained up as a counsellor.

He now works as Registered Manager at PCP Luton Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Centre, helping others kick their addictions and get their life back on track.

‘I think I’ve helped around 300 people in their recovery now. I’m a great believer in the power of lived experience, and there’s nothing that people can tell me that I haven’t experienced. I was trying to fill an emptiness with drugs my whole life, but helping people has done that. I get so much joy every day now.

‘I will always have regrets; they will never go away. But now I have my family back, I am a father and a grandfather and I have a real pleasure in helping people and a sense of purpose. I feel I was put here for a reason, and my Helen, my angel, can look down and be proud of her dad. And I can show people that if I can give up drink and drugs, anyone can.’