PREVIEW

WORDS BYLINE: Andrea Caknis

A Florida mum who once earned up to $36,000 (£28,500) a month in the adult industry has revealed the devastating addiction battle that tore her family apart, as she marks three years sober and works to rebuild her life.

Aaryn Joseph, 33, from Tampa, says she is still ‘crying’ four years after making the heartbreaking decision to send her eldest son to live with family in Oklahoma.

The content creator, who left sex work 18 months ago, has spoken candidly about the moment she hit rock bottom, the mental health struggles behind her addiction and her determination to reunite her two boys.

“The choice was never my children or drugs, it was always live or die,” says Aaryn.

Her downward spiral began in 2019 after she moved from Arizona to Florida.

That year, she faced felony charges including assaulting a police officer, resisting with violence and drunk in public, a turning point she now recognises as the start of her life unravelling.

Probation violations followed, and after returning from an influencer trip where she admitted using drugs, her legal situation worsened.

By early 2022, Aaryn was placed on strict community control with an ankle monitor, which she says made it extremely difficult to properly care for her eldest son Sean who has level two autism, ARFID and echolalia.

Under mounting pressure, Aaryn and the children’s grandparents made the painful decision for both boys to temporarily relocate to Oklahoma in February 2022.

“I’m still crying, still in shock. It will be four years since I let my baby go to his Nana’s,” she says.

“Four long, heartbreaking years, but I never stopped fighting, I didn’t give up.”

Sean lives in Oklahoma with family, while her five-year-old Brandon currently lives with her in Florida.

Her situation worsened when she violated the conditions of her probation again and was sentenced to time in county jail in 2022, a period she describes as one of the lowest points of her life.

After being released in September 2022, she attempted to rebuild but relapsed within weeks.

Her true lowest point came months later in February 2023 after losing what she describes as a ‘very much wanted pregnancy’.

At the time, Aaryn says she was deep into a months-long binge while battling multiple mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder, bipolar II disorder, ADHD and Pure-O OCD.

She says her personality disorder is now in remission following more than two years without meeting diagnostic criteria.

“The lowest point in my addiction was February 2023. I was struggling with my mental health and five months into a binge,” she says.

She checked into the Mandela Center in West Palm Beach but signed herself out the next day.

Shortly afterwards, she says she was found asleep outside a hospital emergency room, lying in a gazebo on top of her luggage after leaving rehab.

Aaryn says her family located her using an AirTag in her bag and travelled to reach her while she slept for several hours during meth detox exhaustion.

“I was not in the emergency room. I was outside of it in a gazebo sleeping on top of my luggage,” she says.

She now marks that moment as the beginning of her recovery.

“I was tired of feeling nothing but rage,” she says.

“I wasn’t just an angry woman. I was a dangerous one.”

Despite the chaos, Aaryn insists she never stopped loving her boys.

“I was never choosing drugs over my children. I was trying to find a way to stay alive so I could watch them grow up,” she says.

“I wanted to die, but I wanted to watch my children grow up more. So I decided to sit in my pain and break the cycle.”

Before her incarceration, Aaryn says she was working “non-stop” and had climbed into the top 0.12 per cent of creators on OnlyFans, at times earning over $36,000 a month.

She shared earnings screenshots showing March 2022 was her highest-earning month, during the same period she was on an ankle monitor and separated from her boys.

“Today my income is far more modest. I earn around £870 ($1,100) in a good month and I’m currently on state assistance for healthcare, while my son receives SNAP food benefits. I’ve been trying to hustle with my TikTok Shop and I’m starting to see it grow thanks to my video content going viral.”

That has helped boost her sales and audience growth.

She believes her rapid rise on social media, which saw her original TikTok account grow to 1.7 million followers in just 18 months, contributed to her decline.

“Social media changed my personality for the worst,” she admitted.

“Anytime there is a huge audience there’s always going to be criticism when it comes to Tiktok,” she says.

“I truly believe they have some of the harshest comment sections and people get really bold behind a screen and behind their cameras. I am a borderline in remission with severe trauma and rejection sensitivity so I had a constant desire to prove myself anytime anything was said, and it was exhausting.

“I would spend hours a day checking my Snark page, which is on Reddit and it’s filled with TikTok users who do nothing but view hatred they’re only goal is to get the individual to end their life or give up on their careers. 2023 almost killed me.

“There were tons of millions of people criticising me for months. All the while I was dealing with postpartum depression and trying to cope with pregnancy loss and a divorce.”

Eighteen months ago, she chose to leave the adult industry to focus on recovery and motherhood.

Her main goal now is relocating to Oklahoma so both of her sons can attend the same elementary school.

She says the most hurtful online comments have centred on her parenting, particularly claims she ‘gave away’ her autistic son.

“The most painful thing to hear is that I gave my son away because he has autism,” she says.

Aaryn says she has worked hard not to react to online trolls, even when facing death threats.

“There’s nothing anyone could say to me today that could hurt me, I know who I am.”

Now in remission from her personality disorder and continuing treatment for her mental health, Aaryn says her daily life looks very different from the chaos of the past.

Her mornings begin at 5:30am, a routine she kept from rehab, followed by TikTok livestreams, school runs, plasma donations twice a week to help fund her move, and regular trips to what her son calls the “Dino Park” in Brandon.

She also keeps busy caring for her seven-month-old puppy, Birdie, and her cat, Astro.

Since her mum works from home, Aaryn says she values being able to sit and chat with her whenever she feels the urge to “info dump”, something she attributes to her ADHD.

“Today my biggest joy is being with my children and seeing them happy,” she says.

“I got clean not just so I could live a better life, but so that they could too.”

As she approaches three years sober, Aaryn remains focused on bringing her family back together.

“I just want better for my children, not just for right now, but for the rest of their lives.”

For more information or to support Aaryn’s journey, visit her GoFundMe page via https://gofund.me/aa42cad51